We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You ate ashes out of my bong
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
