are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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