Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
