I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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