you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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