my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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