Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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