We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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