no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
