Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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