I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
