She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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