I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
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