so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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