Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
