i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
