No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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