69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
