No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
