8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
