I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
