She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
