how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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