I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
