Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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