after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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