I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize