I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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