Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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