it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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