I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
