If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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