Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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