I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
