Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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