The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
