party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
