Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize