She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
