My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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