I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
