Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
