Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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