I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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