So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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