three words: i give head
three words: not that well
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
