When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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