her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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