I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
