Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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