I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
