i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
