I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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