woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
