Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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