he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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