booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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