I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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