So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
