yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
