I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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